Dear Scarlet -- 3 years, 11 months, 3 weeks

Dear Scarlet,

The time has come for you to have your fourth birthday.  I cannot believe that I blinked my eyes and four years have come and gone so quickly.  I love watching you grow.  There is not a day that goes by that you don't cease to amaze me.  You're so smart and funny.  You have a personality larger than I can put into words. 

This last year has brought a lot of changes.  We lived in our "Ona" house, as you called it, for about 9 or 10 months.  Your father and I decided it was then time to finally buy our own home and settle down for a while.  It was a long process to find the perfect house for our little family, but we did it!  The best part?  You have loved it! 

You also went to preschool for most of the school year last year (2013-2014).  Miss Jeneen was your teacher.  She's amazing and you adore her.  She has been so integral in your growing and learning.  I have seen your mind comprehend things I had no idea a 3 year old could.  It has been so gratifying for me to watch as you learn and take in the world around you. 

Elliot has become your best friend.  I'm so glad you play with him and that most of the time you are a great big sister.  Only on occasion do we find you fighting with him, and by on occasion, I mean most of the time!  Honestly though, you are an amazing big sis to him.  We are so grateful that God gave us the opportunity to raise you two together. 

Scarlet, there are so many things I want to tell you about the day you were born.  It was one of the most magical and surreal days of my life.  I felt like I had waited a lifetime for that moment of when I would get to see your birth.  Unfortunately your birth was slightly traumatic for all of us involved.  I had to have a C-section because Kingston, your twin, was not doing very well and my body had given up the fight to stay pregnant with you two.  Kingston came out first and was really tiny.  I was so scared for him and the life, or lack of life, he would have.  You came out next, just two minutes later.  You seemed so much bigger than him.  You were so beautiful! 

After you were born, you were taken to the NICU where the doctors and nurses could take care of you.  You were having a hard time breathing on your own, so they had to help you.  It was heartbreaking for me to see what you had to go through, but I knew it was what was best.  They took great care of you. 

While you were in the NICU, I had the opportunity to spend some time with Kingston.  It was almost as if time slowed, and for 73 minutes I got to marvel in the beauty of a perfect little soul.  He was amazing, Scarlet.  Daddy gave him a blessing with Papa and then I got to hold him next to my heart until his little body gave up its fight and his spirit slipped into the arms of Jesus. 

I remember those moments so vividly.  They replay in my mind often.  The feeling of having heaven in my hospital room was like nothing I have ever experienced in this life.  The joy and peace I felt was indescribable.  I could feel the angels among us as they welcomed Kingston back into their presence.  I knew a few of the spirits who were there among them.  I felt who they were.  It was almost as if they spoke to me. 

I want to tell you the stories of the last moments of Kingston's life, but I feel as though they are too sacred for me to write down, so I will tell them to you when you are older and can comprehend them a little better.  Just know that the day you were born was a day I will never forget!  It was one of the best, most bittersweet days of my life. 

Scarlie, you have given me four of the most amazing years I could have asked for.  I love being your mom.  I'm beyond blessed that you are in my life.  You're my little best friend, my beautiful daughter, and Kingston's twin.  I don't want you to ever forget who you are.  Most importantly, you are a daughter of our Heavenly Father.  Always remember that He is watching over you.  He knows your struggles and trials.  He also knows your joys.  Also always remember that you have the most beautiful guardian angel a girl could ask for.  You have Kingston watching over you too.  I can only imagine the bonds that you two formed.  I wish so much I could see you two together, but it was just not meant to be in this life. 

Happy birthday beautiful girl!  I'm so excited to keep watching you grow. 

Love you always and forever,

Mom

Dear Scarlet -- From Grandma Carolyn

WELCOME SCARLET & KINGSTON!

I had no clue when Ashley and Ryan came to my house and said they had something they wanted to show me in the trunk of their car. They took me out and popped the trunk and there were two of something there. (Sorry I can’t remember exactly what they were). I am always a bit slow to get these pregnancy announcements but it was very exciting and thrilling to find out that they had finally become pregnant and were expecting twins after all of their hard work! It seemed like only a day or so after the excitement that we found out that the little boy, would probably not survive. However, we did have that great news that the little girl seemed to be a healthy baby. Hurrah! I found that I had to turn my thoughts around quickly. I now had to look at the whole picture and try not to mourn the loss of a grandson. Yes, we would lose him but only for a few moments. He will be one of the people waiting in Heaven to greet us. What a great spirit! With that thought in my mind I needed to rejoice and celebrate the granddaughter I would have. She would be the first child of my son Ryan and his wife Ashley. I was so lucky that they lived in my house until they were through school. It gave me the opportunity to get to know Ashley really well. I even got to know my son better—what a bonus! Time passes quickly and it came time to deliver the twins for health reasons. I remembered being called at work to rush over to the hospital for their delivery. As I was driving over I remembered I had asked my son, Ryan what would be the best scenario for him. He did not want Kingston’s suffering to be prolonged but he hoped that he would live long enough to greet and love him. He wanted to be able to give him a blessing and then let him go if Heavenly Father chose so. I was introduced first to Kingston because little Scarlet was getting setup in an incubator. I had the chance to hold him and whisper sweet grandmotherly things in his ear. I told him I was sorry that he wouldn’t be here to participate in my silly piñata parties and such, but that he was too valiant to stay here and be part of my triviality I would catch up to him later and we would have a grand ole time! Ryan gave him a beautiful blessing. The spirit was very heavy in the hospital room. It was heavy with love and heavy with great blessings of two wonderful parents and two wonderful and special little babies. I loved the name Scarlet and she was a beautiful little baby girl all hooked up to wires and such. I remember visiting the hospital a few times to see her. One time I was there when a group of young women were visiting the hospital and they asked to view one of the babies in the special care unit. The nurse called Ashley and asked permission to lift and show Scarlet through the window. The girls were very impressed and excited and Scarlet —well she wasn’t too happy. She squeezed up her face and flailed her legs and arms a bit in the air. Of course she was still hooked up to everything. I didn’t know you could bury a baby on top of another casket so I was excited when I found out that Kingston would have a place above Chad at the Mapleton cemetery. It was a beautiful day to celebrate the short visit we had with Kingston. Ashley and Ryan had a beautiful graveside service planned. Ashley gave me a great blessing that day. She let me read her sentiments and show some pictures about Kingston. I remember being totally impressed with her father’s letter. He played the role of Kingston in a letter from him to his parents and family. PRECIOUS! It put everything in perspective and helped us to remember God’s plan for each one of us. One of my favorite moments was when their friend sang “Over the Rainbow.” I have that song on my IPOD and when it comes on I play it over and over a few times and think of my little grandson in the bank! All of my family was there which reminded me how important it is to have family. I am very proud of my family. I am really proud of Ashley and Ryan and how they have persevered in this world and they have had many great achievements. (Of course, the most important ones at this time would be Kingston, Scarlet, & later Elliot!)

We have had lots a fun together over the last 4 years and I plan on having many more.

Grandma Hone Loves Scarlet! Remember grandma is good for many fun Christmas Piñata parties!

Look forward to a lot more fun Christmas presents!

I enjoyed visiting you in Rancho Cucamonga! Remember our Many walks with Bella and having fun at the playground!

You weren’t sure about riding the train at the shopping center.

But then you were BRAVE! “Hey this isn’t too bad grandma!”

Scarlet, you are a special child of our Heavenly Father. You were accompanied by a great brother and sent to earth to develop and grow. You not only have wonderful parents to help you, but you have a brother watching over you. They are all rooting for you to do your best. Hope you have a happy birthday!