The day you were born is imprinted on my mind more than most other memories. For some reason I wasn't at the actual birth I am fairly sure I saw you later that day. I remember coming to the hospital with your cousins Josh and Chloe and walking into the room where your mother was lying along with your brother. She looked like she had just given birth to two kids and had a C-section... oh yeah, she just had. She looked like she had been up all night and had a piece of her heart ripped out. Kingston laid on his bed next to your mother and the room was still and silent. Your brother had already ascended to Heaven before I got to hold him. When your mom asked me if I wanted to hold him I remember being very hesitant because I knew he had already left and I don't like to mess with the deceased. It was a very strange idea for me at the moment but when I picked him up and held him all of the skeptical feelings and strangeness seemed to disappear, and as I looked at him it was almost like he was still alive. Even though death was in the room there was still a very happy feeling that presented itself. After I put him back down and left the room I went to the lunch room, sat down at a table, and started to cry almost uncontrollably. I had been able to keep my emotions in until now but I couldn't hold them any longer. My mother came over and tried to console me only to have herself start crying. It was a sad moment even though I knew everything was okay.
The day of the funeral is also a day in my life that has more significance than others. I remember going to the cemetery and seeing the tent set up with chairs and a small hole in the ground. I started to cry again and probably didn't stop until the end of the services. I remember your great grandpa pulled up and I went over to the car to help him to his chair, and when we hugged we both stood there and cried. I don't remember how the funeral proceeded but I do remember the "Letter from Kingston" which was beautiful and I hope is in this book as well. I also remember one of your fathers good friends Scott playing a song, I think it was Somewhere Over the Rainbow, all I remember was how I could hardly see him through my eye fountains and how choked up Scott was becoming. Everyone was crying but they were good tears, happy tears.
Now that a few years have passed all I have are the memories. I like to think that Kingston is still around though, constantly connected with you, walking with you and keeping you on the path you need to be on. I like to imagine him in his perfect body walking with you and growing up with you. One day I wrote Kingston a letter and put it in a fire so it would get sent to Heaven, if you ever feel sad or that you need help with anything, I bet if you write him a letter and burn it he will help you with anything. Scarlet, you are a very special girl. You have an amazing life ahead of you. Whenever you read this book and feel sad, don't, because even though it may be sad, underneath lies the happiness. These are the memories of Kingston, not sad stories. Kingston is in a better place and we will all see him again. I love you Scarlet.
Love,
your uncle Nathan
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
Dear Scarlet -- From Nuncle Jesse
Dear Scarlet,
I want to tell you about the day you were born and what I know about your brother Kingston and the day you were born. You see, on the day you were born you came with a twin brother. Most people don't get a twin, especially a twin like Kingston. We all knew that Kingston wouldn't likely be here physically with us for long, but I know I had a lot to learn from his time here all the same. I'd like to tell you about what I've learned because of him and why we'll never forget him.
When you and Kingston were born I remember wanting to come up and see you both so much. By the time I got to the hospital you were in NICU (a place for babies to get special care), and Kingston had already left for heaven. Your mom and dad were there, and I knew it was important to see them too. While I was there I was able to see Kingston's body and even hold it. He was so tiny, but I felt a strength in that room that I'll always remember. That feeling came from your brother and what your mom and dad told me about him. The part I remember best is your mom and dad telling me about how he talked to them. He didn't use words like you and I do, but he used his ability to love and show his mom and dad that he loves them the way that they love him. He taught me how I can show love.
Your brother also loves you very much. He may not be here with us now, but he wanted you to live and be a part of your family here on earth. He gave you what you needed to live, because you were born so early. He knew you'd need some help to make it, and he gave it to you, even if it meant a sacrifice on his part. That sacrifice didn't matter to him. What mattered is that you got what you needed. He taught me what sacrifice really means.
Your brother's funeral was a hard time for many of us in the family. Little Josh had a lot of questions and really wanted to see him too. He loved Kingston even though they never got to meet. Kingston taught me that I need to love and teach my own children too.
Your brother leaving us so early got me to think about how important it is to live a life that our Heavenly Father wants us to live. Your brother came to earth to gain a body, and to bless his family with that which our Heavenly Father wanted. You and I get to live on. It's not for me to say why most of us live on, but I can tell you this: your brother's example to us is important to me. He taught me how important it is to follow the gospel so our families can be together forever.
Your brother Kingston wasn't here on earth for very long, yet his legacy remains. Through his many acts of love and what he has taught me he will always be a part of my life, and more so a part of yours.
Have a happy birthday, Miss Scarlie,
love,
Nuncle Jesse
P.S. I loved our "date" to Chick-a-lay. Your aunt Tina and I had a really good time with you, and we love when we get to spend time with you.
I want to tell you about the day you were born and what I know about your brother Kingston and the day you were born. You see, on the day you were born you came with a twin brother. Most people don't get a twin, especially a twin like Kingston. We all knew that Kingston wouldn't likely be here physically with us for long, but I know I had a lot to learn from his time here all the same. I'd like to tell you about what I've learned because of him and why we'll never forget him.
When you and Kingston were born I remember wanting to come up and see you both so much. By the time I got to the hospital you were in NICU (a place for babies to get special care), and Kingston had already left for heaven. Your mom and dad were there, and I knew it was important to see them too. While I was there I was able to see Kingston's body and even hold it. He was so tiny, but I felt a strength in that room that I'll always remember. That feeling came from your brother and what your mom and dad told me about him. The part I remember best is your mom and dad telling me about how he talked to them. He didn't use words like you and I do, but he used his ability to love and show his mom and dad that he loves them the way that they love him. He taught me how I can show love.
Your brother also loves you very much. He may not be here with us now, but he wanted you to live and be a part of your family here on earth. He gave you what you needed to live, because you were born so early. He knew you'd need some help to make it, and he gave it to you, even if it meant a sacrifice on his part. That sacrifice didn't matter to him. What mattered is that you got what you needed. He taught me what sacrifice really means.
Your brother's funeral was a hard time for many of us in the family. Little Josh had a lot of questions and really wanted to see him too. He loved Kingston even though they never got to meet. Kingston taught me that I need to love and teach my own children too.
Your brother leaving us so early got me to think about how important it is to live a life that our Heavenly Father wants us to live. Your brother came to earth to gain a body, and to bless his family with that which our Heavenly Father wanted. You and I get to live on. It's not for me to say why most of us live on, but I can tell you this: your brother's example to us is important to me. He taught me how important it is to follow the gospel so our families can be together forever.
Your brother Kingston wasn't here on earth for very long, yet his legacy remains. Through his many acts of love and what he has taught me he will always be a part of my life, and more so a part of yours.
Have a happy birthday, Miss Scarlie,
love,
Nuncle Jesse
P.S. I loved our "date" to Chick-a-lay. Your aunt Tina and I had a really good time with you, and we love when we get to spend time with you.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Dear Scarlet -- 3 Years
Dear Scarlet,
How did you manage to grow up so fast? Three years old already? I thought it would be fun to do a little interview with you this year, so here we go.
Nicknames: Rabies (I know, it's an unfortunate name your dad gave you as a baby and it stuck), Pooperton, Scarlie, Sweetness
How old are you? 5! (Well, you're three. We need to work on this one apparently.)
What is your favorite color? Blue. Suck, suck, suckers! (Obviously you're a fan of suckers)
What is your favorite animal? A shark.
What is your favorite book? My sharks. (I think it's really Cat in the Hat)
What is your favorite TV show? Uh, uh, TVs. Umizoomi!
What is your favorite movie? Monsters, Inc.
What is your favorite song? Umizoomi! (Well, since you didn't give me an honest answer, your favorite song is Penumbra by Book on Tapeworm, also known by you as Shadow)
What is your favorite food? Dinner and cupcakes.
What is your favorite drink? Water (I wish! Your favorite drink is anything sweet. Lemonade, chocolate milk, Coke, Sprite, etc.)
What is your favorite breakfast food? Uh, cakes. (As in pancakes. You will eat more than me when I make them).
What is your favorite snack? Cupcakes
What is your favorite game? Monsters (we have no such game)
What is your favorite toy? Hey mommy, tickle tickle.
Who is your best friend? Uh, friends. (apparently all your friends are your best friends)
What do you like to sleep with at night? I like a latapitter. Translation: Caterpillar. (I hate no idea what you're talking about. You always have to have blankie and then some sort of toy when you sleep.)
What do you want to be when you grow up? Uh, dress up!
Where do you live? At California. (We just moved to Arizona. You were so excited, but I guess that wore off).
It was like torture getting you to answer these questions. The answers to most things were about sharks or cupcakes. Or Monsters. I think you're slightly side tracked. It was still fun though. I'm excited to see what you will say next year.
Like I mentioned above, we just moved from California to Arizona. The move wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. You have adjusted very well so far. You take a ballet and tap class once a week. You love it and usually tell me it was "super fun." It's adorable to watch you as you learn new things. You have such a talent for learning.
You are now my big girl. I love you more than you will ever know. Thanks for being mine.
Love you forever,
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Dear Scarlet -- 29 Months
Dear Scarlet,
Happy 29-month birthday! Today is a significant day in your life as well as mine. This is the day, January 11, three years ago when you were transferred from a petri dish, or whatever medium you were in, and into my belly. In other words, it was three years ago today I became pregnant with you. That was truly a very special day and one I won't forget any time soon. I watched on a screen as the scientists sucked you up into a little beaker in the lab. They brought the little tiny pipette with you in it into my room and you were handed to the doctor. Then, wah, lah! I was pregnant. Yep, something like that.
The last three years have FLOWN by. I remember holding the picture of you in your embryonic form and dreaming of what you would look like and who you would be. I also wondered about the other little mass of cells and would it would turn into. That was Kingston. You were both amazing little miracles and I'm grateful you came into our lives.
It's amazing to me what can happen in three years. The last three were the most eventful of my life. By far! I got pregnant with you, gave birth, buried a baby, moved, got pregnant, gave birth.... and everything in between including multiple trips to Disneyland and Utah. I'm sure the next three will bring lots more joy into our lives!
Love you always! I'm so glad you're mine.
Love,
Mom
p.s. I'm really going to miss when you start calling candy canes, candy canes instead of candy corn canes. I'll also miss when you say cute instead of cuke.
p.p.s. Please be nice to Elliot. He's just a baby (how many times a day to I say this?)
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Dear Scarlet -- 2 years
Dear Scarlet,
Yesterday, August 11, 2012, you turned two years old. I watched you as you smiled and beamed from ear to ear all day long. You radiated such beauty as you partied with your friends and then enjoyed the evening with Mom, Dad, and Elliot. I only wish that I could have been there with you to celebrate our special day. I know it is because of you that mom smiles.
The day we were born was such a day, a day nobody will forget. It was around 9:02 a.m., the moment I was born, that you and I said our final earthly goodbye. I wanted nothing more than to stay here with you, but I knew you would represent both of us well with your sparkling personality. I sat by your side for four weeks while you fought for your life in the hospital. Mom knows I was there because you would smile so much at what seemed to be nothing, and then I would let her know, ever so subtly, that I was there, giving her angel kisses.
Scarlet, you are who you are because mom and dad love and adore you so much. It is because of you that they are who they are. Never forget that I am always there, watching over you. You're my other half as I am yours. Please don't ever feel that I left you here alone. Just because you won't always see me, I am always there.
Scarlet, keep radiating your beauty to all those who are around you. You have the ability to touch many lives and I know you will. I love you so much!
Kiss, kiss,
Kingston
p.s. You need to be nice to Elliot. One day he will be bigger than you.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Dear Scarlet -- 23 Months
Dear Scarlet,
Can you believe that in just one short month you are going to be two years old? What happened to this last year? I think we were so occupied with moving to California and then the arrival of Elliot, that life just happened very quickly this year.
You have proven yourself to be an amazing big sister. You have only kicked Elliot in the head once and only thrown a few things at him. For the most part, you adore your little brother. It was like you knew he was coming to be a part of our family and you just kept on with life like nothing ever happened.
You have become extremely talkative lately. Everybody loves to have conversations with you because you just ramble on forever. You get at least one phone call a day from somebody who just wants to listen to you talk. Some of our favorite words you say right now are:
- Cuke as in "My new shoes are so cuke!"
- Yellow. Everything you see is yellow... and today you decided that it can also be pink.
- Soos and socks. You even call your pants socks.
- Pease and tane to. When we have something delicious and you see it, it is usually followed with "Pease?" Then we give it to you and you will say "tane to." Also, when we spell out t-h-a-n-k-y-o-u, you will say "tane to."
- Where ee go, where ee go? You will usually do really cute hand gestures with this one.
- Boops. This can be referring to boobs or boots.
- Carlie. As in, "Scarlet, what's your name?" "Carlie" It comes from us calling you Scarlie all the time. You'll even shout it out when you see a picture of yourself.
- Me: A is for? You: Apple! Me: B is for? You: Apple! Me: No. You: Ball!
- Dammies. Translation: Jammies.
Scarlet, you still make us smile every single day. You also make me a very busy mom, something I always dreamed of. You are quite a tornado right now. You like to throw your toys everywhere and tip everything over. I'm hoping this phase doesn't last too much longer. I think I fold 27 blankets a day... or maybe it's just the same blanket 27 times. I'm not sure why I keep trying.
Keep making me smile! I love you!
Loves,
Mom
Friday, May 11, 2012
Dear Scarlet -- 21 months
Dear Scarlet,
Well, sweet princess, this will be the last time I write to you as my only child living at home. I want you to always know just how much I love you. You make me smile every single day and I am beyond grateful to have you in my life.
There are going to be a lot of new changes happening this next month. You might feel left out for a little while, but I'm still going to love you just as much as I do now, if not more. Love is an amazing thing, it just keeps growing. I know you are going to be an amazing big sister! I'm so excited to introduce you to your new little brother.
You have become quite the little talker. You talk non-stop. You have started copying a lot of what we say or what your favorite TV shows say. You also have been working on phonics, colors, and numbers. We try to work on it everyday. I love watching you learn. Your dad and I think you are quite spectacular.
You are still wearing 12-month clothes and occasionally you will wear 18 months. You're very petite. We weighed you last week and you came in at a whopping 20 pounds. You love to eat just about anything you can get your hands on. I found you the other day with a giant bag of potato chips from the pantry. You were trying to get a little baggy out of the drawer to put some chips in. You looked at me and said, "crackers?" How could I resist? You're too adorable.
I wish that you could stay my "baby" forever, but I know you need to grow and gain your independence. It's so fun watching you learn and develop. You really are such an amazing blessing in our lives. I love you to pieces and pieces.
Love you forever,
Mom
Well, sweet princess, this will be the last time I write to you as my only child living at home. I want you to always know just how much I love you. You make me smile every single day and I am beyond grateful to have you in my life.
There are going to be a lot of new changes happening this next month. You might feel left out for a little while, but I'm still going to love you just as much as I do now, if not more. Love is an amazing thing, it just keeps growing. I know you are going to be an amazing big sister! I'm so excited to introduce you to your new little brother.
You have become quite the little talker. You talk non-stop. You have started copying a lot of what we say or what your favorite TV shows say. You also have been working on phonics, colors, and numbers. We try to work on it everyday. I love watching you learn. Your dad and I think you are quite spectacular.
You are still wearing 12-month clothes and occasionally you will wear 18 months. You're very petite. We weighed you last week and you came in at a whopping 20 pounds. You love to eat just about anything you can get your hands on. I found you the other day with a giant bag of potato chips from the pantry. You were trying to get a little baggy out of the drawer to put some chips in. You looked at me and said, "crackers?" How could I resist? You're too adorable.
I wish that you could stay my "baby" forever, but I know you need to grow and gain your independence. It's so fun watching you learn and develop. You really are such an amazing blessing in our lives. I love you to pieces and pieces.
Love you forever,
Mom
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