Dear Scarlet -- 8 months

Dear Scarlet,

Today, you are 2/3 of a year old! I know I say this all the time, but really, I cannot believe how fast time is going by.

Last time we weighed you, you weighed in at a whopping 13 pounds 8 ounces. You're growing all the time and you just keep getting funner. You're still in 0-3 month clothes and some 3-6 month clothes, but I'm sure soon, you will be in 6 month clothes.

You love to sit up on your own. We were with your cousin, Makoy, one night and you saw her sitting on her own. You wanted to be just like her. Ever since that night, you have had no problem sitting up on your own. However, you still have no desire to crawl. I'm totally okay with that. I don't mind you being immobile. You will be walking soon enough, so I'm going to enjoy these months with you before you can run away from me!

You now eat bananas, prunes, apples, pears, squash, sweet potatoes, carrots, and we are always trying new things. You're not quite into textures yet, but it's slowly coming.

This last month I have had a little time to reflect on the days you were in the NICU. Everyday I would come visit you, I would put my left hand on your head and get close to you and say, "hello beautiful." It was my way of always telling you I was there. I still find myself doing that to you. It makes me so happy to know you are my daughter, my child.

From the time we brought you home, your dad would always sing Benni and the Jets to you and then make you dance. You have always loved that. Well, on American Idol a couple of weeks ago, a girl sang your song. We still have it recorded and play it for you all the time. You will stop whatever it is you're doing and stare at the TV as soon as you hear the music start. Then you start bobbing back and forth. It's adorable.

A couple of weeks ago your dad got a phone call from a graduate school in California. They told him he was accepted and is to start in August 2011. This means we are going to move to California right after your first birthday. I'm still kind of in shock, but I'm excited for our new adventures.

Sweet Scarlet, you are amazing! There's not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for what I have been given. Even having lost a child, I'm happier now than I ever was because you are a part of my life. I think I can be so happy because I know what true sorrow really is. I feel like I have been at both ends of the spectrum. I sure wonder what it would be like with Kingston here with you. Would you guys have your own language? Would you laugh at each other? Would he be just as happy as you are? I wish I knew. Maybe you are as happy as you are because he is still with you?

You're so amazing to me. Thank you for being such a fighter. You are doing amazingly well for being so premature. It is awe inspiring. I love you to pieces and pieces!

Love you,

Mom

Dear Scarlet -- 7 months

Dear Scarlet,

Over the last seven months, we have come to be best friends. I don't even know how we lived without you. You are such a joy in our lives and we are seriously so blessed to have you as our own.

This month has been really quite eventful. For Valentine's Day, we went to the cemetery and took Kingston a balloon and flowers. I guess we took them to Chad too since that's actually where we placed them since Kingston still doesn't have a headstone (someday soon he will. I hope).

You also got to take your first plane ride to California. You were absolutely wonderful. However, in the hustle and bustle of everything, I left my phone in Utah at the airport. Leave it to me to be so super flaky. At least I remembered you, right?

While in California we went to a lot of different places and had so much fun! You were such a joy! You would just sit in your stroller and look at everything. I seriously couldn't have planned for it to go any better. You even slept well. We got to take you swimming for the very first time. You loved it (check out the bikini!! I got this for you before you were born)! There's not a whole lot that you don't like.

You are such a good-mannered child. You sleep well, you're always happy, and you are such a flirt with your daddy! You always give him the cutest smiles.

We have started you on real baby food, not just the nasty rice cereal. You are an extremely good eater. So far you like squash, sweet potatoes, and apples. Peaches aren't quite your thing, but we'll keep working on it. You always want to grab the spoon when I feed you. There has only been one incident in which you sneezed as I was putting food in your mouth. Let's just say there was sqaush all over me, you, the table, and your Bumbo seat. No sneezing while eating, okay?

You now love to stand up. You are so interested in everything going on around you. You are so much fun to watch learn and grow. You will also roll from your back to your tummy and from your tummy to your back; however, you don't like to do it unless we make you. You seem to be a little lazy in that department.

I cannot believe another month of your life has passed right before my eyes. You have honestly brought so much joy into my life and I am beyond blessed to have you as my daughter.

Loves and loves,

Mama

p.s. You will now say "mama" and Papa says you also say "papa." I'll believe it when I see it! You little smarty pants!

Dear Scarlet -- 6 months

Dear Scarlet,

Oh my word! How is it that six months have come and gone so fast? I cannot believe you, little Princess Penelope, are six months old today. I'm speechless. You now weigh in at a whopping 11 pounds 14 ounces (0th percentile). You are now 24 inches long (up 7-1/2 inches since birth, and I think 4th percentile). In the last month, we decided to see how you liked your first solid food. You hated it. In fact, you still hate it. You will drink it in your bottle, but you will not eat it from a spoon. We'll get there eventually. We took you out to eat and you got to sit in your very first big girl high chair! Obviously you were a bit too small for it, but we pretended it worked. We just stuck blankets and coats behind you to help you stay upright.

You have discovered your feet this month. It's so cute watching you grab them and try to eat them. When you grab your feet, you end up rolling from side to side. It won't be long before your rolling from your back to your tummy. However, this week you did roll from your tummy to back! Your daddy was sleeping and I was screaming from the other room in excitement. When he woke up, he asked me what I was screaming about. You showed him too. You are so awesome.

You love to stand up! You want to be standing up all the time lately. I have discovered that you can hold onto the coffee table/ottoman thing and hold yourself up. It's so cute. Your little head barely pokes up over the edge. You just are so small and to see you standing up is really adorable.

Scarlet, you bring me never-ending joy. I am so blessed to be your mom. Thank you so much for being in my life. One of my favorite parts of the day is when I get to hold you at night and rock you to sleep. I love looking at your little tiny features and thinking about how perfectly shaped your lips and nose are. I just think you are the cutest baby ever.

Happy half birthday little Scarlet! I love you to pieces and pieces.

Loves,

Mom

Dear Scarlet -- First Food

Dear Scarlet,

Tonight was a new first for you. You got to try your very first rice cereal!! You absolutely hated it. I would put it in your mouth and then you would shiver like it was the most disgusting thing you have ever had in your entire life. Well, that's probably exactly what it was actually. You were so stinking cute! Hopefully you start to like food or we will be in big trouble. I'll try this again tomorrow and see how it goes. You are just too cute to not try it again.

Love you baby girl!

Heart,

Mom

Dear Scarlet -- 5 months

Dear Scarlet,

Not only is this your five month birthday, but exactly one year ago today, you were transferred from a petri dish to my body. I guess you could say it was one year ago today that I became pregnant with you. It was one of the best days of my life. I wanted nothing more than to be a mother. You have fulfilled a life-long dream of mine and I couldn't be more happy. You make me smile every single day and for that, I am thankful.

You are a pro at sleeping now. It's heavenly. You sleep 10-11 hours a night almost on a consistent basis. I call you my magic baby because you just love to sleep. You're either magic or just my daughter. Sleeping is probably the thing I do best. You probably just take after me on that one.

This last month you have met some monumental milestones. We took you to the baby-sitter and when we came back to get you, they had video of you laughing!! That was your first real laugh. It made me so happy. It still does make me happy. Your laugh is totally contagious. Not only that, but you learned to reach out and grab your toys. You also love to talk to your toys. It's quite adorable.


Bella has become very protective of you this last month. She loves when you come home after we have been out. She has to give you kisses all the time. You love her too. You are constantly watching Bella. You try to grab her at times too. Bella isn't so thrilled with that one.

On Christmas Eve, we went to visit your brother at the cemetery. You stayed asleep through the entire ordeal, but I feel like you were at peace there. I hope it is somewhere that you can find peace because it is such a special place. Kingston was, and still is, such a special angel.

Your first Christmas was very fun. I enjoyed watching you even though you had no idea what was going on. Maybe next year it will be even better. I'm so excited to watch you grow and change.

You are still in size 1 diapers and newborn clothes. You can wear 0-3 month onesies, but the pants in that size just fall right off. You're such a skinny little thing. Your fuzzy head is slowly becoming more fuzzy. I love it. I love to kiss your sweet little head.

Scarlet, keep being exactly who you are... an amazing little angel. Your father and I love you more than you will ever realize.

Love always,

Mom

Dear Scarlet -- 4 months

Dear Scarlet,

Have I told you lately just how much I adore you? You have such a beauty about you. Over this last month, you have really become quite a "talker." It's so much fun to listen to you talk about your life, or whatever it is you're talking about. You have also become super smiley. Since you now like to smile, we have discovered two very cute dimples just above your lips. So cute!!

I cannot believe you are already 4 months old! The time is flying. Before I know it, you will be a year old. It saddens me that you are growing up so quickly, but at the same time, I am enjoying you more and more each day. You seem to be learning something new all the time. You have discovered your hands. You will only suck on your left hand for some reason and you usually try to talk to it as you are sucking.

Remember how I told you that you would have beautiful blue eyes? Well, it's true. They are dazzling. They are the most beautiful blue.

You are still really tiny. I think it's hilarious, but you still wear newborn size clothes. I'm trying to transition you to 0-3 month size, but it's a bit of a stretch. You weigh 9 pounds 8 ounces and you are 22-1/2 inches. That means you have gained almost 6 pounds and grown 6 inches since you were born!! You are still in size 1 diapers. Your hair has also decided to grow just a tiny bit. It's gone from completely bald to fuzzy.

You and I had a special moment not too long ago. You love to dance. I was holding you and dancing and singing, like we do almost every day. I looked up and there we were, dancing in the reflection of Kingston's photo. It was almost as if the three of us were dancing together, just the way it always should have been. We sure do miss having him around.

I attempted to put you in the bumbo chair a couple of weeks ago and this is how it turned out. Let's just say you didn't like it. You look so cute in it though. You are doing so well holding up your head. You also did something else pretty amazing this month. You slept an entire night, a full 11 hours! Thank you!! I woke up feeling absolutely amazing. See, I hadn't had a full night's sleep in quite a few months, so it was quite a little treat for me.

The day we wanted to bring you home from the hospital, the doctor found a murmur in your heart. It was finally time to venture out to the cardiologist to see if your little heart was healthy. They hooked you up to all these leads and did an EKG to see the rhythms of your heart. The good news is, your heart is totally healthy! It was so nice to finally hear good news from a doctor.


Well, my little 4-month-old beauty, I sure do love you to pieces. You brighten my day.

Love you forever,

Mom

Dear Scarlet -- 3 Months

Dear Scarlet,

I realized the other day that at some point in the future, my heart beat will no longer lull you to sleep and it made me a little sad. If you have been wondering why we snuggle so much in the afternoon and take naps together, that is why. I love that the natural rhythm of my body can soothe you to sleep.

Scarlet, I know you are too young to hear this right now, but at some point in the future, it will be helpful. When you are searching for a husband, look for a man with the qualities that your dad has. Your dad is an amazing man. He is away right now in Washington DC. He's trying to get into a master's program so that he can better his education and get a well-paying job at some point in the future. He is trying so hard to take care of you and give you the opportunities you deserve. He loves you so much. He will do anything he can to better your life and protect you. I want you to know just how proud of your dad that I am. He works so hard to provide for our little family. He's the love of my life.

Within the last month, you have had lots of fun. You experienced your first Halloween. Don't worry, I ate all of your candy. Thanks for sharing. You were the cutest little pumpkin I have ever seen. We also blessed you this last month and it was a very special day. You are now in size 1 diapers!! I can't believe how fast you are growing. You now weigh 8 pounds even. You were just over 4 pounds when we brought you home. You have officially doubled your birth weight. Way to go baby girl! I put away all of your preemie clothes last night and it made me a little teary eyed. I'm sad that you are growing up so fast, but I'm so happy that you're healthy. You will occasionally smile, but you love to scream. Sometimes you "talk" too. I love that.

As the holidays are fast approaching, I can't help but think how difficult this year will be for us. We love watching you experience life, but at the same time, there is a little hole where Kingston should be. I will be wondering what it would be like to see him with you around the holidays, getting Christmas presents, and laughing with you. It hurts my heart that he is not here with you.

Well, little Scarlet, happy 3 month birthday. You make me proud to be your mother. Thank you!

Love always and forever,

Mom