Dear Scarlet -- 16 months, 3 days

Dear Scarlet,

Oh my, my. Where has time gone? It's been a while since I last wrote to you. You have changed by leaps and bounds over the last few months. On 11/11/11, you started walking! It has been so fun to watch you explore and learn about the world around you now that you can wander on your own.

Your vocabulary is growing every single day. You now say: Baby, light, on, thank you, what is it?, uh oh.... and I'm sure there are more that I am missing. It's adorable to hear you talking. I can't believe you learn so quickly and seem so eager to learn new things each day. Oh, you also know that the kitty says, "meow", and the goat says, "bahhhhhh". The goat sound always comes out as a yell though. We're working on it.

I still can't believe you're going to be a big sister! What a shock that has been. We are slowly adjusting to the idea of having another little mouth to feed and baby to love. We are thrilled beyond belief for this new little sibling for you. I always felt like you got robbed a little by having your twin taken away. I wish I could have changed the situation. However, I still believe he is close to you and always will be. You two have an amazing bond, I'm sure of it!

I'm SO excited to watch you this Christmas. I can't wait for you to see what Santa brings. I know you're going to love Christmas this year. I am also excited for you to show off your new skills to all of our family back in Utah who just don't get to see you that often. We get to leave for Utah in just ONE WEEK!! Daddy and I are so excited to go home.

You also popped out two more teeth. You have been a drooly mess lately because of it. You also don't sleep so great at night because I think your little mouth hurts. Sorry sweetheart!

Well, little twinkle toes, you are such a joy! We just love you to pieces and pieces.

Loves,

Mom

Dear Scarlet -- 13 months

Dear Scarlet,

Can you believe it? You're 13 months old and living in California. I feel like since we moved, you have grown exponentially. You are everywhere and into everything. You have the desire to climb on anything elevated. If it's off the ground, you have to be on top. Maybe that's an indication of who you will be in the future? In charge and confident.

You have popped out 4 new teeth. It was only a slight struggle to get them out, but you handled it like a champ!

I'm loving watching you grow and change. You have the funnest personality! I'd say you're just like your daddy. That's a good thing.

You are "talking" like crazy. You love to say, "tickle, tickle, tickle," "Bella," and many more.

We took you to the ocean soon after we moved here. You thought it was great. You chased the water as it receded. Once it came after you though, you decided the ocean wasn't so great anymore.

Oh Scarlet, you are beautiful. Keep giving me snuggles and kissy kisses okay?

Loves,

Mommy

Dear Scarlet -- 1 year

Dear Scarlet,

Today, you are a year old! My little 3 pound 12 ounce baby girl has grown into a whopping 15 pound 4 ounce little toddler. I remember the day you were born very well. In some ways it seems like it was just yesterday. It was such a rush. You came sooner than we wanted, but thankfully you were a fighter. You were born just two minutes after your brother, and you were much bigger than he was. You were the most beautiful baby in the entire world. You made me so happy. You still do.

I didn’t get to see you the day you were born for a really long time. I kept Kingston with me for quite a few hours because I knew that was all the earthly time I would have with him. I knew you were well taken care of by all the loving nurses and doctors in the NICU. Once Kingston left, I got to go see you. My heart melted. You were mine forever.

There was not a day that went by that you did not smile. You have always been the happiest baby! You have definitely brought so much joy into our home.

As a one year old, you love to eat. I don’t think you have a particular favorite food, you just like everything. We call you the garbage disposal because you just eat and eat. You’d think with all you eat that you would be a little bigger, but you’re not. You’re still very petite.

You are still in size 2 diapers and wear 6 month clothes. Some of your clothes are still 3-6 months. Like I said, you’re still very tiny. Your weight doesn’t even register on the charts yet. You are in the 0th percentile and always have been!

You are extremely active. You scoot-crawl everywhere and stand up next to anything you can. You will then traverse all along the furniture or walls and explore your world.

You and Bella are getting along great. You're sleeping well and learning to speak.

My mind is still in shock that you are a year old. How did that time pass so quickly? You are the most amazing child I have ever laid eyes on. I can hardly wait for all of our adventures in the future.

Love you forever and ever,

Mom

Dear Scarlet -- 11 months

Dear Scarlet,

Seriously? You're going to be a year old in just one short month??!! I cannot even fathom that thought at the moment. It's totally freaking me out. For now, we will just reminisce over the last month's fantasticness.

You have decided that you absolutely hate being swaddled (finally). If we attempt to swaddle you, you will immediately bust out. I love sneaking in at night and taking your picture. It's always hilarious to see the positions you come up with.



Speaking of sleeping, you are the most amazing, deep sleeper ever. You sleep through just about everything, everything except sneezes. I can't quite figure out why they freak you out so bad.



You have attended two funerals this month. I'm not sure why people keep dying, I guess that's the business of life. At least when we went to the cemetery for the dedication of one of the graves, we got to go visit Kingston. You are so cute when we take you there. You love to touch his headstone. I always wonder what is going through your little head when we are there.

We had an amazing fourth of July. It was beautiful weather when we went to the parade. It was overcast and cool. I think you could have cared less to be there. Thankfully once we got in the car, you konked out. You were SO tired. Even though you were super tired, you never really got too fussy. You were still smiley and happy until the second your eyes closed. You're amazing.

Guess what? You finally, FINALLY got some teeth! Two little teeth on the bottom.They are adorable, but also very sharp. You have managed to bite quite a few people since they have come in. Funny baby.

One of my favorite things you do is talk. You are constantly talking. This month you have started saying "Bella." You like to repeat me when I am calling for Bella. You also have discovered the mermaids on your swim floatie. You will point to them and say, "merma." It's so stinking cute!

Scarlet, we are now approaching the year marks to some very prominent points in our life. I honestly cannot believe they are sneaking up so quickly. Sadly, I am deathly afraid for them to get here. I don't want my baby to be growing up so fast. It also means that we are moving soon. I chose to stay here in Utah until after your first birthday so that we could spend it with Kingston too. We will then be off to California for who knows how long. I'm excited and scared at the same time. It will be you and me with a tiny dose of daddy for the next two years. I'm so excited to watch you learn and grow and become a beautiful little lady. Keep being just who you are... the most amazing little girl I have ever laid eyes on!

Love you,

Mama

Dear Scarlet -- 10 months

Dear Scarlet,

Ten months down, two more to go until your first birthday! This last month has been amazing. You are learning and growing at such a rapid rate. You have been so much fun this month.

We started the month off with a quick trip to California with your pseudo-aunt, Leslie. We flew down really early one morning and you did amazing. You slept through most of the flight there. You helped me look for an apartment. It was a very long and exhausting day, but I think we accomplished what we needed to. After all was said and done, you took an amazing nap.

We went to visit your twin on Memorial Day. I had a difficult day, but you were just as happy as could be. I'm sure Kingston enjoyed your company that day as he always does.

You got your first ear infection this month!! Oh no! You enjoyed your bubblegum-flavored antibiotic. You really did. I would give it to you and you would reply with a satisfied, "Mmmmm..." You're easy to please.

You're still an amazing little eater. You will eat just about anything we give you. I hope you stay that way.

The pool at our house has opened for the summer and you are in heaven! The first time I took you and put you in your floatie, you took off around the pool. You have always loved the water and the pool is no exception. What an amazing little thing you are!

You have started to immitate us really well. You will now occasionally wave bye-bye. You will also repeat some things we say such as mama, dada, papa.

Scarlet, I cannot even express how much love I have for you. You bring me joy beyond measure. I love that I get to watch you grow and learn. You are everything I have ever wanted in a child and more! I'm excited for what the future holds for us. Stay beautiful little princess. Mommy loves you!

Loves,

Mama

Dear Scarlet -- 9 months

Dear Scarlet,

I find myself speechless today, your 9-month birthday. I am still amazed that you are my beautiful child. I love waking up to your happy sounds that you make.

This month hasn't really brought much change. You are loving the concept of sitting up on your own. You think it is nearly the greatest thing. Your grandmother asked why you had a bruise on your head the other day and I realized it was from when you tipped over and bonked your head on the bundt pan. Your grandmother thought that was odd that you would be playing with a bundt pan, but you love it! You love to bang your wooden blocks on it and makes lots of noise.

We took you to the doctor the other day and you weigh 14 pounds 5 ounces. You're 25-1/4 inches long! Almost 9 inches longer than your birth length. Holy guacamole! You are still wearing 3-month clothes and you'll also wear 6-month clothes on occasion. Most of your 6-month clothes are summery and of course here in Utah, even in May, the weather gets confused and it doesn't quite know if it wants to be 80 degrees or 40, so most of the time it's 40 and you're stuck wearing your small 3-month winter clothes.

Kingston got his headstone last week and it is so wonderful to have it. I love that we finally have his resting place marked so we can always find him when we go visit (not that it was hard before, but this just feels official).

We're still preparing to move to California in August. I can't believe we're moving! I think it will be good for our little family, but I think it's going to be a challenge, one I am up to facing. I will have you by my side the whole time. We're best friends.

I love watching you grow and learn new things. You are soaking up the world around you. When you grow up, will you still let me sneak in your room and admire you while you sleep?

Love you always,

Mom

Dear Scarlet -- 8 months

Dear Scarlet,

Today, you are 2/3 of a year old! I know I say this all the time, but really, I cannot believe how fast time is going by.

Last time we weighed you, you weighed in at a whopping 13 pounds 8 ounces. You're growing all the time and you just keep getting funner. You're still in 0-3 month clothes and some 3-6 month clothes, but I'm sure soon, you will be in 6 month clothes.

You love to sit up on your own. We were with your cousin, Makoy, one night and you saw her sitting on her own. You wanted to be just like her. Ever since that night, you have had no problem sitting up on your own. However, you still have no desire to crawl. I'm totally okay with that. I don't mind you being immobile. You will be walking soon enough, so I'm going to enjoy these months with you before you can run away from me!

You now eat bananas, prunes, apples, pears, squash, sweet potatoes, carrots, and we are always trying new things. You're not quite into textures yet, but it's slowly coming.

This last month I have had a little time to reflect on the days you were in the NICU. Everyday I would come visit you, I would put my left hand on your head and get close to you and say, "hello beautiful." It was my way of always telling you I was there. I still find myself doing that to you. It makes me so happy to know you are my daughter, my child.

From the time we brought you home, your dad would always sing Benni and the Jets to you and then make you dance. You have always loved that. Well, on American Idol a couple of weeks ago, a girl sang your song. We still have it recorded and play it for you all the time. You will stop whatever it is you're doing and stare at the TV as soon as you hear the music start. Then you start bobbing back and forth. It's adorable.

A couple of weeks ago your dad got a phone call from a graduate school in California. They told him he was accepted and is to start in August 2011. This means we are going to move to California right after your first birthday. I'm still kind of in shock, but I'm excited for our new adventures.

Sweet Scarlet, you are amazing! There's not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for what I have been given. Even having lost a child, I'm happier now than I ever was because you are a part of my life. I think I can be so happy because I know what true sorrow really is. I feel like I have been at both ends of the spectrum. I sure wonder what it would be like with Kingston here with you. Would you guys have your own language? Would you laugh at each other? Would he be just as happy as you are? I wish I knew. Maybe you are as happy as you are because he is still with you?

You're so amazing to me. Thank you for being such a fighter. You are doing amazingly well for being so premature. It is awe inspiring. I love you to pieces and pieces!

Love you,

Mom

Dear Scarlet -- 7 months

Dear Scarlet,

Over the last seven months, we have come to be best friends. I don't even know how we lived without you. You are such a joy in our lives and we are seriously so blessed to have you as our own.

This month has been really quite eventful. For Valentine's Day, we went to the cemetery and took Kingston a balloon and flowers. I guess we took them to Chad too since that's actually where we placed them since Kingston still doesn't have a headstone (someday soon he will. I hope).

You also got to take your first plane ride to California. You were absolutely wonderful. However, in the hustle and bustle of everything, I left my phone in Utah at the airport. Leave it to me to be so super flaky. At least I remembered you, right?

While in California we went to a lot of different places and had so much fun! You were such a joy! You would just sit in your stroller and look at everything. I seriously couldn't have planned for it to go any better. You even slept well. We got to take you swimming for the very first time. You loved it (check out the bikini!! I got this for you before you were born)! There's not a whole lot that you don't like.

You are such a good-mannered child. You sleep well, you're always happy, and you are such a flirt with your daddy! You always give him the cutest smiles.

We have started you on real baby food, not just the nasty rice cereal. You are an extremely good eater. So far you like squash, sweet potatoes, and apples. Peaches aren't quite your thing, but we'll keep working on it. You always want to grab the spoon when I feed you. There has only been one incident in which you sneezed as I was putting food in your mouth. Let's just say there was sqaush all over me, you, the table, and your Bumbo seat. No sneezing while eating, okay?

You now love to stand up. You are so interested in everything going on around you. You are so much fun to watch learn and grow. You will also roll from your back to your tummy and from your tummy to your back; however, you don't like to do it unless we make you. You seem to be a little lazy in that department.

I cannot believe another month of your life has passed right before my eyes. You have honestly brought so much joy into my life and I am beyond blessed to have you as my daughter.

Loves and loves,

Mama

p.s. You will now say "mama" and Papa says you also say "papa." I'll believe it when I see it! You little smarty pants!

Dear Scarlet -- 6 months

Dear Scarlet,

Oh my word! How is it that six months have come and gone so fast? I cannot believe you, little Princess Penelope, are six months old today. I'm speechless. You now weigh in at a whopping 11 pounds 14 ounces (0th percentile). You are now 24 inches long (up 7-1/2 inches since birth, and I think 4th percentile). In the last month, we decided to see how you liked your first solid food. You hated it. In fact, you still hate it. You will drink it in your bottle, but you will not eat it from a spoon. We'll get there eventually. We took you out to eat and you got to sit in your very first big girl high chair! Obviously you were a bit too small for it, but we pretended it worked. We just stuck blankets and coats behind you to help you stay upright.

You have discovered your feet this month. It's so cute watching you grab them and try to eat them. When you grab your feet, you end up rolling from side to side. It won't be long before your rolling from your back to your tummy. However, this week you did roll from your tummy to back! Your daddy was sleeping and I was screaming from the other room in excitement. When he woke up, he asked me what I was screaming about. You showed him too. You are so awesome.

You love to stand up! You want to be standing up all the time lately. I have discovered that you can hold onto the coffee table/ottoman thing and hold yourself up. It's so cute. Your little head barely pokes up over the edge. You just are so small and to see you standing up is really adorable.

Scarlet, you bring me never-ending joy. I am so blessed to be your mom. Thank you so much for being in my life. One of my favorite parts of the day is when I get to hold you at night and rock you to sleep. I love looking at your little tiny features and thinking about how perfectly shaped your lips and nose are. I just think you are the cutest baby ever.

Happy half birthday little Scarlet! I love you to pieces and pieces.

Loves,

Mom

Dear Scarlet -- First Food

Dear Scarlet,

Tonight was a new first for you. You got to try your very first rice cereal!! You absolutely hated it. I would put it in your mouth and then you would shiver like it was the most disgusting thing you have ever had in your entire life. Well, that's probably exactly what it was actually. You were so stinking cute! Hopefully you start to like food or we will be in big trouble. I'll try this again tomorrow and see how it goes. You are just too cute to not try it again.

Love you baby girl!

Heart,

Mom

Dear Scarlet -- 5 months

Dear Scarlet,

Not only is this your five month birthday, but exactly one year ago today, you were transferred from a petri dish to my body. I guess you could say it was one year ago today that I became pregnant with you. It was one of the best days of my life. I wanted nothing more than to be a mother. You have fulfilled a life-long dream of mine and I couldn't be more happy. You make me smile every single day and for that, I am thankful.

You are a pro at sleeping now. It's heavenly. You sleep 10-11 hours a night almost on a consistent basis. I call you my magic baby because you just love to sleep. You're either magic or just my daughter. Sleeping is probably the thing I do best. You probably just take after me on that one.

This last month you have met some monumental milestones. We took you to the baby-sitter and when we came back to get you, they had video of you laughing!! That was your first real laugh. It made me so happy. It still does make me happy. Your laugh is totally contagious. Not only that, but you learned to reach out and grab your toys. You also love to talk to your toys. It's quite adorable.


Bella has become very protective of you this last month. She loves when you come home after we have been out. She has to give you kisses all the time. You love her too. You are constantly watching Bella. You try to grab her at times too. Bella isn't so thrilled with that one.

On Christmas Eve, we went to visit your brother at the cemetery. You stayed asleep through the entire ordeal, but I feel like you were at peace there. I hope it is somewhere that you can find peace because it is such a special place. Kingston was, and still is, such a special angel.

Your first Christmas was very fun. I enjoyed watching you even though you had no idea what was going on. Maybe next year it will be even better. I'm so excited to watch you grow and change.

You are still in size 1 diapers and newborn clothes. You can wear 0-3 month onesies, but the pants in that size just fall right off. You're such a skinny little thing. Your fuzzy head is slowly becoming more fuzzy. I love it. I love to kiss your sweet little head.

Scarlet, keep being exactly who you are... an amazing little angel. Your father and I love you more than you will ever realize.

Love always,

Mom